Toddler Inner Child
“I AM ME”
Age: 9 months-18 months (Exploration Stage)
18 months – 3 years (Separation Stage)
Developmental Polarity: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt
Ego Strength: Willpower
Power: Sensing and Doing
Relationship Issue: Psychological Birth: Counter-dependence
In order to determine if your toddler self is wounded, take the following questionnaire. As in the infant stage, there are different degrees of woundedness. The degree is proportionate to the number of questions that you answer yes. “Yes” means that your needs were not met in that particular area and you’re adult thinking and feeling (and consequent actions) are being effected by your wounded toddler self. The more “yeses”, the more positive change you will see from doing the work in this section.
To determine if your inner pre-schooler is suffering with wounds from childhood, consider the following questions. They are referring to your life now.
- Do you have trouble knowing what you want?
- Are you afraid to explore when you go to a new place?
- Are you hesitant to try out new experiences? If you do try them, do you always wait till someone else has tried first?
- Do you have great fears of abandonment?
- In difficult situations, do you long for someone to tell you want to do?
- If someone gives you a suggestion, do you feel you ought to follow it?
- Do you have trouble actually being in your experience? For example, when you’re on vacation looking at an exciting sight, are you worrying about the tour bus leaving without you?
- Are you a big worrier?
- Do you have trouble being spontaneous? For example, would you be embarrassed to sing in front of a group of people just because you were happy?
- Do you find yourself in frequent conflict with people in authority?
- Do you often use words that center on defecation or urination – like asshole, shit, or piss? Does your sense of humor focus on bathroom jokes?
- Are you obsessed with men’s or women’s buttocks? Do you prefer to fantasize about or engage in anal sex more than any other kind?
- Are you often accused of being stingy with money, love, showing emotions, or affection?
- Do you tend to be obsessive about neatness and cleanliness?
- Do you fear anger in other people? In yourself?
- Will you do almost anything to avoid conflict?
- Do you feel guilty when you say no to someone?
- Do you avoid saying no directly, but often refuse to do what you’ve said you would in a variety of indirectly manipulative and passive ways?
- Do you sometimes “go berserk” and inappropriately let go of all control?
- Are you often excessively critical of other people?
- Do you act nice to people when you’re with them and often gossip about and criticize them when they go away?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, your inner preschooler was wounded and carries these wounds today, effecting your present moment. Of course, the degree of woundedness is evident by how many of the questions are an issue for you. You can tell this if you answered to “yes”.
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Judith can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org or 215-939-5495.