Pre-School Inner Child
Age of the preschooler: 3rd birthday till 6th birthday
Developmental Polarity: Initiative vs. Guilt
Power: imagining and Feeling
Relationship Issue: Independence
This is the stage where a child can start to “perform” in order to secure the love of their parents. The danger here is that the child will move away from their essence and try to be “who they think they have to be”. The ability to do this starts in the preschool stage.
To determine if your inner pre-schooler is suffering with wounds from childhood, consider the following questions. They are referring to your life now.
- Do you have severe identity problems? To aid you in answering this, consider the following questions. Who are you? Does an answer come easily? No matter what your sexual preference, do you feel like you’re really a man? A woman? Do you over-dramatize your sex (try to be macho or sexy)?
- Even when you have sex in a legitimate context, do you feel guilty?
- Do you have trouble identifying what you are feeling at any given moment?
- Do you have communication problems with the people you are close to (spouse, children, boss, friends)?
- Do you try to control your feelings most of the time?
- Do you try to control the feelings of those around you?
- Do you cry when you’re angry?
- Do you rage when you’re scared or hurt?
- Do you have trouble expressing your feelings?
- Do you believe that you are responsible for other peoples’ behavior or feelings? (For example, do you feel that you can make someone sad or angry?) Also, do you feel guilty for what has happened to your family members?
- Do you believe that if you just behave a certain way, you can change another person?
- Do you believe that wishing or feeling something can make it come true?
- Do you often accept confusing messages and inconsistent communication without asking for clarification?
- Do you act on guesses and unchecked assumptions, treating them as actual information?
- Do you feel responsible for your parents’ marital p roblems or divorce?
- Do you strive for success so that your parents can feel good about themselves?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, your inner preschooler was wounded and carries these wounds today, effecting your present moment. Of course, the degree of woundedness is evident by how many of the questions are an issue for you. You can tell this if you answered to “yes”.
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Judith can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org or 215-939-5495.